Love At First Sight, Or Not (Part 2)

§Part 2! The boys are still suffering!§


Everybody and her mother knows that I don’t own Lord of the Rings, although I DO have Legolas’ twin, Mikau, sitting next to me!



Aragorn: You never told me about Mikau! That's fucking hot!
Legolas: He's not my identical twin.
Aragorn: No?
Legolas: We're all a little ashamed of him back home in Mirkwood. Big overbite, hook nose, spots. A real mess. We keep him locked in the cellar, mostly.
Aragorn: Er...



Manda woke the next morning to hear an argument going on in the room downstairs. She turned over on to her stomach and covered her head with a pillow. She used to love the thought of being an elf, but now realized the one bad thing. She could hear sounds from and mile away. Which was why she’d awakened.



Aragorn: That's not much of a problem for you is it? You just pass out and drool until noon.
Legolas: Does that make me less pretty?
Aragorn: Nothing--but nothing--could make you less pretty.
Legolas: Come here, melon nin.
Aragorn: YES! ::poking Legolas' asshole with two fingers::
Legolas: ::muttering in Elvish::



She wrapped a blanket around herself, and went down towards to the noise. Upon her opening the door, the people went silent. Both Legolas and Boromir looked down sheepishly, completely forgetting their arguments.

Frodo: I bet I know why they went silent.
Boromir: The horror of her face?
Legolas: Stop teasing and stick it in my arse, O King of Men.
Aragorn: ::shagging Legolas silly::
Boromir: They seem to have made up.
Frodo: It's the romance of the fic, of course.


She groggily eyed them. "Who has the farthest room away from here?"
They both glared at each other before Legolas answered. "Mine’s way away from here. Why?" She fixed a glare on him. "So I can get away from you loud voices."


Frodo: She's such a bitch!
Boromir: Is it over yet?
Secret Character: Is it time for an orgy?
Boromir: Er...
Frodo: I think the Secret Character has got a point!
Boromir: ::shrugs and grab's Frodo's cock::
Frodo: YESS!!


Legolas turned, grabbed her hand, and led her off. Boromir’s face paled. Legolas turned and mouthed ‘I’ll be back’.
She followed, and knew he’d told the truth. At the door, he let her in and moved to come in with her. She shoved him off with one hand, holding the blanket with the other. She whispered "good night" before closing the door.
He muttered "damnit" before turning and walking back to Boromir.
The next morning at breakfast, both Boromir and Legolas came in limping, with cuts and bruises.



Secret Character: A rough night at the BDSM club. Someone's got to make commentary while the boys shag.


Both Arwen and Elrond laughed at them, as well as Manda’s surprised face. Arwens’ largest thought- "Well, at least I have new black mail…"


Legolas: Arwen's largest thought *ever*.
Aragorn: ::pounding Legolas like a hammer::
Legolas: Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah! ::spurts::


Hey again! Long time, no see…and nothing has changed in ownership, but I STILL have to say this…I don’t own Lord of the Rings, or any character therein.


Boromir: ::lubing Frodo's hole::
Frodo: You better split me in half.
Boromir: Don't you worry, my very little friend.



After getting over the shock, she’d left to look for a quiet, peaceful area where she wouldn’t be interrupted.

With these final thoughts, she left.


Legolas: Hurry up, I've been done for ages.
Aragorn: ::depositing sperm into Legolas' anus:: FUCK YEAH!! OH YEAH!



Trying to be as quiet as possible going down the stairs, as not disturb anyone (or get unwanted attention),

Legolas: ::smoking cigarette:: 'Cause everyone wants a peice of Mary Sue.
Aragorn: ::stealing a drag:: You're just jealous because she makes out like more people want her than you. But it's just not true, Legs!


she tiptoed on her feet…another oddity she was noticed for.


Aragorn: How exactly -does- one tiptoe *on* their own feet?
Legolas: She's elfishly limber.



Not many elven maidens walked around in dresses barefoot. Perhaps that’s why the elvish men were all noticing the new girl now…she acted and dressed different.



Legolas: And because she's Mary Sue.


She walked to the gates, and into the woods. Looking, she saw a tall tree, and ran towards it.



Aragorn: Think she'll throw Treebeard into the mix? Have you and Boromir throwing wood lice at him or something?
Legolas: I think if Treebeard fucked her, he might be able to kill her. Thick like a tree trunk, he is.



But she stopped, abruptly, halfway there. Was that a…yes, a footstep. A heavy footstep. She swallowed, to get the taste of fear out of her throat.


Frodo: Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh.... Cum with me, Boromir! ::shoots his wad::
Boromir: ::pulling out of Frodo:: Open up, Frodo! ::jizzes::
Frodo: ::swallowing, to get the taste of cum out of his throat::


No, no, no…she turned. A man with a cruel smile on his face stood there. She ran, but he was too fast, and she found herself pinned against the very tree she’d chosen.


Aragorn: Oh, it's getting interesting now!
Legolas: Does this mean she *chose* Treebeard?


She shoved him, screaming once before he covered her mouth. Muffled yelps escaped as he drew a dagger,


ALL: YEAH!!!
Legolas: Stab her! Stab her! Stab her!


talking to himself while getting ready to cut her clothes.


Legolas: Wait. What do you mean, cut her clothes? SLIT HER THROAT!
Aragorn: ::looking nervous:: Okay, it's alright. Just relax. It's almost over.


The litany ran through her mind.


Frodo: How the hell does the word 'litany' make any sense in this context?



But she could hear something else, to, almost like hoof beats. But that was impossible. No one had followed her, right?


Aragorn: Wrong!!



A whoosh, and then a splash of something hit her. She opened her eyes, and vaguely noticed she was drenched in blood…and promptly passed out.


Legolas: Does that mean she's dead? Does it?
Aragorn: Unlikely.


When she woke, she almost fell off the horse she was on. She jerked awake with a short scream, hitting the person behind her.
“Shhh.”
It was a commanding whisper, and being like she was, she didn’t like it. She whipped around enough to see who she was with, almost knocking her and the rider off.
“Boromir, what are you doing in the woods?”



Boromir: No! Not again...
Legolas: Wow, you really get it worse than I do in this one.
Boromir: This is why you invited me, Aragorn?
Aragorn: ::snickering::



“I could ask you the same, pretty one.”
Manda growled under her breath, but from the slight smile on his face you could tell he’d heard it.
“Don’t call me that! I was looking for some peace and quiet!”
“And I was on guard. You do know what those are, Manda?”


Boromir: No.
Legolas: No.
Aragorn: No.
Frodo: Er...no.


“Yes, of course.”
He smiled, returning to concentrating fully on the horse.


Legolas: Don't fall off.
Boromir: If it would put me out of my misery, so be it.




Manda couldn’t help but feel his arms tighten in a little around her as he held the ropes…



Frodo: Thinks she means reins?
Boromir: Don't think about what she means by any of this.



Come on people, must I say it again? And again? I don’t own Lord of the Rings!


Legolas looked up in time to see Boromir and Manda ride in…and Manda didn’t miss the look on his face. If looks could kill, Boromir would be breathing his last breath about now…



Boromir: Do you hate me, Legolas?
Legolas: Only when you act like you've never taken it up the ass.


She slid down with Boromir’s help, although she really didn’t need it…she supposed he just wanted to be helpful.
She giggled at the thought,


Frodo: ::gasp:: She had a thought?!
Aragorn: Make no mistake, she has thoughts. Just not coherant ones.


and Legolas got up from where he’d been sitting. He got up with the same grace as usual, and Manda did that usual mental comparison. And blinked.

“Are you alright? You were missing, I was just getting ready to look for you, but it seems that Boromir beat me to the chase.”


Legolas: You could beat me, Boromir. If you want to.
Boromir: You just can't get enough, you little slut!
Legolas: Say that again....
Boromir: ::pumping Legolas' cock:: Little slut. Slutty little bitch.
Legolas: OoooH yeah!



Legolas was glaring daggers,



Frodo: Cool. I didn't know you could do that, Legolas.
Legolas: I can't cum while hobbits talk.
Frodo: What the fuck does that mean?



and Arwen had just walked into view.
“Oh, you’re okay! I was sooooo worried!”
She ran over and grabbed onto Manda,


Aragorn: Grabbed onto her tits?
Frodo: Why do you hold onto false hope? There's no smut in here!


hugging her. Then, Arwen sniffed.


Aragorn: Well... She has been known to snort a line or two at a party.



And stepped away from Manda. For, while Legolas had been glaring at Boromir, he’d missed something that would have made him even madder.
"Manda, why are you wearing Boromir’s vest?”


Legolas: ::explodes all over Boromir::
Boromir: Ughh... Well, she can have my vest now.


I don’t own Lord of the Rings…kapeesh? Good!


Legolas’ jaw dropped. Just, dropped.


Frodo: Sounds like a serious medical condition.


He was so mad he was incapable of speech. Arwen, thank Valar, had anticipated this and swiftly ran to him, making sure to free him of weapons…


Legolas: Oh no she didn't!
Aragorn: It's just a bad fic!--
Legolas: That silly cow, she thinks she can touch my property?



Unfortunately, you can’t free someone of their fists.


Frodo: Well... You could, but it would be really gross.



Manda had been smart enough to get out of the way. She couldn’t help but be flattered, though. It’s not every day two men fight over you!


Legolas: But what about two men and a tree? That's really got to be something.
Aragorn: Leggy, Treebeard isn't going to make an entrance any time soon.
Legolas: Shhh....


Arwen dodged, getting out of harms’ way with an armful of weapons. She grinned, holding them up.
“So,” she looked for the men, but they were gone, probably in a more open area, “what actually happened?”
“Well,” Manda was hesitant to say anything, since Arwen was such a gossip, “I was looking for a quiet place to relax, and found the perfect spot. But this guy attacked me…or rather, tried to. Boromir killed him.”


Legolas: ::to Boromir:: You prat!
Boromir: It's not my fault!



“Really? That doesn’t explain why your wearing his vest, though.”
“I got blood on my dress.”
Surely, Arwen would be vain enough to believe that, right?


Legolas: You forgot she's also a prissy, smarmy, conceited cunt.
Aragorn: I'm not even going to address this anymore.



Apparently not, judging by her narrowed eyes.
“That wouldn’t stop you from wearing a dress, though, Manda. Spill!”
“All right, all right…the man tried to…well…” she whispered the last few words.
Arwen leaned in.
“What? Tried what?”
“He tried to rape me. He slit my dress open on the top, that’s all he got before, well…Boromir got a hold of him.”



Legolas: Again. You prat!
Boromir: ::rolls eyes::



Arwen arched an eyebrow.
“So Boromir saw you, hmm? Did he like what he saw? Could you tell?”
“ARWEN!”
A bird overhead flew away because of the loud yell.


Frodo: Hey, that reminds me, Legolas. If you don't like this tripe, you can just fly--
Legolas: ::thwaps Frodo::


Arwen just giggled.
“So, should we see what they’ve done to eachother yet? Boromir’s only wearing one layer now, maybe we’ll get lucky and the guys ripped their shirts…or pants…or maybe even both…”
“Arwen, you are sooo pathetic….”
“You bring out the worst in me, what can I say…”


Legolas: I think this fic brought the worst out in me.
Aragorn: You can say that again.
Boromir: At least it's over.
Frodo: But is it ever really over?
Aragorn: No, my dear hobbit. Mary Sue evolves time and again into new, hideous forms. She is immortal.
Frodo: Thanks. Now I'm depressed.